James Smith’s Info Serv

When we worry about wearing the “right” thing, supporting the “right” cause, or find ourselves wondering what others think of us, we are feeling the pull and power of the social consciousness. While we all want to fit in, we love the freedom of living from our true expression more. Our true expression comes from our innate wisdom, our natural brilliance that is a part of each of us. In this article we share a few thoughts about the limits of social consciousness and the freedom of natural brilliance.

Understanding thinking requires that we become aware of the thoughts we are focused on. We need to be able to recognize the thoughts that draw our attention so we can make a choice about them. When we aren’t mindful of our thinking, we become lost in our thoughts. A person lost in a forest is unable to identify the path taken or to find the way out. Finding the path allows choosing which way to go. Similarly, once we identify the thoughts we’ve been following, we can choose either to continue on the same path or forge a new trail.

Our social consciousness, or what we know about the beliefs of our society, is stored in our computer mind. That mind is a collection and storage center for all of our experiences and all of the experiences that have been shared with us, consciously or unconsciously. For example, everything our parents have shared with us, everything our children have shared with us, everything our coworkers have shared with us is filed in our computer mind. This information shapes our attitudes, our decision making, our beliefs, and our behavior. The sense that we make of who we are comes out of this conditioning. It is an understanding, our story; it may or may not be real.
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I have been reading a book that I first read over 40 years ago. The book is called, Psychcybernetics, which was written by Maxwell Maltz in 1960. This book contained major breakthrough information at the time it was published and it continues to sell through word of mouth. Used copies are still available for two or three dollars.

What is so significant about this book? Dr. Maltz was a Plastic Surgeon who improved the physical appearance of thousands of people, especially those with deformities. Some of these people experienced major personality transformations following surgery. Others felt no different about themselves, even though photos revealed major improvements. Why? Because their self-image did not change. For example, some people who felt ugly before surgery still considered themselves unattractive after major improvements were made to their appearance. Dr. Maltz realized that our self-image or the picture of how we see ourselves is extremely important.

The bad news is that our self-image defines and limits what we will achieve in life. We cannot consistently outperform what we believe to be true about ourselves. Our self-image determines our degree of happiness and fulfillment, success in relationships, and our career accomplishments and satisfaction. It also impacts our physical, emotional, and mental health.
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Of all the things that go towards shaping our destiny, it is our belief in our own abilities which has the greatest influence. Our level of self belief determines whether we succeed or fail to achieve our dreams and ambitions. As Henry Ford said “If you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I was watching a program on the Biography Channel the other day which illustrated the truth of Henry Ford’s words and highlighted the importance of self-belief. The subject of this program dropped out of the educational system without a degree, in fact, he quit school before he even reached college age and left school with woefully inadequate qualifications. The reason for this academic failure was a combination of dyslexia and general lack of interest in school work.

Sadly, the lack of academic achievement was accompanied by a complete lack of prowess on the sports field. To top it all off, as well as being a dunce and a sporting failure, the poor kid was not even good looking. He did not have rich parents to give him financial support . His parents were not business owners, so there was no chance of a career via nepotism. He had no obvious skills or talent, so a career as an artist or musician was not an option.
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1. Change Your Outfit Change Your Outlook

Giving yourself time to enjoy what tickles you and only you boosts your confidence. Needlepoint, making Jell-O molds, playing an electric organ…do what pleases you.
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We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you’ve been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You’ll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of ‘flow’. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you’ll feel competent and capable. It’s a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don’t have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you’ve always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn’t have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You’ll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It’s been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You’ll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you’ve interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you’ve never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver’s test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www-confidence.com/