James Smith’s Info Serv

Are you completely satisfied with your career and life or have you begun to ask “Is this all there is?” or “Why can’t it feel easier? ” Do you ever feel you are doing too much?

From the time I could walk and talk through my early thirties, I perpetuated a pattern I call “O.R.” (Overly Responsible), working 60-80 hour weeks and trying hard to get it all done almost perfectly. I may have been a painful birth for my mother- I swear I came out with a flipchart and marker in one hand and a goal sheet with to-do list in the other. I’ve met plenty of professionals (especially women) who could be in the O.R. club, trying out for the Olympic work-life juggling team and the emotional tug of war competition.

The good news is it’s absolutely possible to shift from O.R. to A.R.; Aligned Responsibility– making choices aligned with one’s true values and authentic personal priorities. My life is extraordinarily different today- I am one of the most fulfilled, non-stressed people I know. (If you want to throw something at me for saying that, I understand. ) My coaching clients revamp and reinvent their lifestyles beyond what they once thought possible. You can create the life you deserve.

Breaking the Pattern Breaks are nice for the doing-too-much person, but aromatherapy and a facial won’t create sustainable change. To break the pattern, you must start with increased self-awareness.
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by: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Part 1

Recently, in a women’s therapy group that I run, the desire for fun and a change of pace over took me. I suggested that we deviate from some of our typical work and instead go around the room imagining a vacation treat designed to suit each woman’s desires.

It was fascinating to see how many marvelous vacation ideas quickly emerged. One woman wished to go to Mexico and South America to view the ruins and lie on the sun in beautiful beaches. Another woman wished to go to Greece and see the ancient ruins there and then slowly make her way through Europe. This could take a leisurely period of time, perhaps even a year. Another also wanted to go to Europe but to do other things, such as take gourmet cooking classes in the South of France and become somewhat fluent in several languages. Another woman opted for spas and other experiences to bring vitality to her body and ultimately her spirit. One person was in reality making plans to go to several meditative retreats over the next few months.

I was fascinated as each woman spoke and realized two things. First, I would have been a happy companion on any of the presented vacations. Each one sounded fulfilling, energizing and provided a change that would be good for me, as well as the person who thought of it.
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If you think spare time is a luxury you can’t afford, think again . . . relaxation is essential to your happiness, health and success. As busy people who really just want the best out of life we can achieve we the least amount of pain and suffering we certainly don’t want to let stress get in the way of our successes. But while we are driven to succeed, we need to realize that taking time to relax isn’t something to do moments before we are about to collapse in a heap, it’s an indispensable part of performing at high levels while staying healthy.

True success comes from more than just setting and achieving goals. It comes from taking the time to smell the roses along the way so that you can fully appreciate what you have achieved. To accomplish this, you must take your well-being seriously. You need to reflect on what you’ve accomplished and take time to rest your body, mind and soul, even if only for a few moments.
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by Liz Labrum
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More Details about reduce stress here.

What is self-talk? It is something we all do, when we’re at work, shopping, traveling in the car or by train. But are you aware of the potent power this habit has to raise your level of stress and lower your ability to cope?

Helpful or unhelpful thoughts? We create thoughts to help us explain things to ourselves, and making comments to ourselves seems to be automatic. Often the habit is so ingrained we believe we have no way of changing our internal dialogue. However, you can change the way you talk to yourself, and doing so will make you more effective and self-confident.

Become aware of your thoughts. Want to discover if you are using positive and supportive self-talk or negative self-talk? The following are a few examples of the things that positive and negative people say. Look closely to spot the difference. When you do, you will immediately see how these “mere words” can affect your life. Negative people explain bad things by internalizing them: “I got that wrong -again.” Their thinking makes this viewpoint seemed fixed: “It’s always this way.” They generalize: “Life is the pits.” When they explain good things, they externalize them: “It was just luck,” or consider them temporary: “That went well, TODAY,” and see them only in a limited context: “At least THIS went right.” Positive people explain bad things by externalizing them: “The weather caused it.” They consider setbacks as temporary: “That was a rough couple hours.” They see problems as isolated: “THAT part of the plan didn’t work, but…” When they explain good things, they internalize them by thinking, “Life is great!” Their thoughts describe them as more or less permanent changes: “Now I know how to do this.” Then generalize by thinking, “Things are working out well.”
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My favourite definition of “crazy” is “doing what you’ve always done but expecting your results to be different.” Most people are afraid to change what they have always done, but the truth is that if you don’t learn to stretch your comfort zone regularly then life will not improve for you.

When we were teenagers we were forced to stretch our comfort zones because of the changes that were naturally occurring in our lives as we made the transition from childhood into adulthood.
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