by Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
In case you didn’t know it, there is a character element in love and loving relationships. People who say they love each other and then cheat on their spouse or lover, or lie to them on a regular basis, aren’t really in love. Oh, many think they are, but they really are not. People who love each other have character when it comes to their marriage or relationship.
In our interviews over the past 25+ years with couples that had a successful marriage we are always struck by their undying trust in each other. They literally trust each other with their lives, their fortune, and their sacred honor. The words they use to describe the one they love more often than not include words and expressions like trust, honesty, loyalty, respects me, admires me, always there for me, never lets me down, truthful, and never lies to me. Their trust for each other is about as complete as you can get. And when we ask couples in love during our interviews to place, in an overall sense, where their relationship is on a 10-point scale with 10 being “Absolute Trust,” without exception, they say “10!” Isn’t that wonderful? Remarkable? These are the couples that will celebrate their golden anniversaries together!
Trust is not something all loving relationships start with. For some couples the trust becomes complete in a few years. For others, it takes awhile. But one thing is for sure; happy and successful marriages and relationships survive and thrive on the basis of this trust. Trust is so pervasive in their relationship that they never give it a second thought. They expect it. It’s always there. It is part of the fabric of their marriage.
Read the rest of this entry »