Would you like to know how to improve your loving relationship? Do you want to prevent the pitfalls of intimate partnerships so that you can maintain a long-lasting, healthy relationship?
As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I counseled many couples who started off in bliss and were crying in despair over their crumbling union with their loved one. After exploring their issues, I often found the same mistakes that caused the couples to unconsciously destroy the very thing they cherished.
I love offering pre-marital counseling sessions, in order to help the lovebirds avoid the traps that couples fall into. Preventing problems is so much easier and definitely less painful than clean-up years later. Imagine all the hurt you can avoid when you know the common mistakes that can undermine your loving relationship.
No matter what stage you are in your partnership, the following mistaken beliefs and truths can assist you to create and maintain the loving union you desire.
1. Mistake: All I have to do is love my partner and all will be perfect.
Truth: Love is not enough to maintain a relationship. You also need to like your partner, create win-win solutions to all your problems, and have similar values, goals, and interests. It takes two happy people with high self-esteem and good communication skills, to create a healthy relationship.
2. Mistake: My partner is responsible for my hurt feelings, anger, and frustrations.
Truth: You are totally responsible for all your feelings and actions. Way before you were in your loving partnership, you were influenced by your parents, siblings, teachers, etc. and you made decisions based on your experiences. These decisions cause you to perceive things in the present that may not be true.
For example, if your mother or father was not there for you, you probably decided that you were not good enough, unimportant, unworthy, and unlovable. These negative decisions will likely be projected onto your partner. Therefore, if he or she does not call, your hurt may be caused by the decision that you are unimportant. The truth is that you are important even if your partner does not call.
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