Last weekend I went to one of the local clubs with a friend of mine. After an hour or so he came to me and told me that he REALLY liked a girl that he had seen, so I told him to go and speak to her. What I didn’t know was that he has absolutely zero skill in flirting, so after two hours or so, although he was still talking to her, he had gotten nowhere!
I could clearly see that he was very interested in ‘moving things along’, so when she went off to confer with her friends, I pulled him aside and asked him why he wasn’t flirting. He admitted that he had absolutely zero idea of what to do, so it was time for a quick ‘Flirting 101′ lesson with him. To cut a long story short, he tried all the things I told him … and got a date!
So why am I telling you all this - well the next day another friend dropped by and we started talking about the previous evening. She admitted that she also hadn’t a clue what to do when it comes to flirting and suggested a do a post about it … so here we are!
Like most things, flirting is about communicating your intentions clearly. However, in this case it is about doing it in a more subtle manner - using body language. Studies have shown that up to 90% of communication takes place through body language. The problem is that most people are body language illiterate when it comes to ’speaking’. Here are a few tips to help you become a little more fluent:
1) Make the first move
It is useless for me to give you advice if you do not take the first step. In China there is a saying that goes: A teacher opens the door, but the student must walk through.
Some time ago I was in a coffee shop with a friend, when a really hunky guy walked in alone.
She whispered “Wow that guy is sooo hot!”.
“So go and say hello”, I replied.
“Oh no! That would be much to forward of me - you know I am a shy person!”.
Well 10 minutes later the guy was out the door and the opportunity was lost.
Take the plunge. Remember that if the person is rude to you, then at least you know that they are not the right person for you! One down, several billion to go hehehe. Here is another Chinese saying: Don’t be shy - just try!