James Smith’s Info Serv

Author: Donald N. Lombardi

For years I have been asked “How did you get it all together and do all you have done.

I do not believe people ask in idle curiosity. I think they have the same reason that compelled me, when I was sixteen growing up on the streets of New York City to ask myself how I could make my own dreams come through.

The average human being has the ability to achieve almost anything. Lack of basic capability is rarely the problem. We all have great reserves of untapped power. The problem is almost always in finding out what you really want. Before we go any further let me define how I am using the word want here. I am not talking about mere wishes now, I am talking about wants that gnaw at you.

Maybe you think you do not have any gnawing wants. If you think that, you are wrong! You have the wants. But they are bottled up where you cannot get at them. Your early experiences and training poured them in and pounded the cork home…And there they sit. Building pressure for their next destructive burst of envy and vindictiveness. They may leak out as blind insistence that all your problems are caused by others. That is rationalization which is the biggest trap and blocks any activity to achieving your goals.

Instead of trying to bottle your wants, learn to understand them. From such understanding springs the knowledge of how to use this vital force to power your drive for greater things. Your drive has to come from this source: There is no other that works for long. It is often the fear of failure that makes us bottle up our wants. But failure is not the worst possible result. Not trying is! If you try, you can succeed; if you will not try, you have already failed. Do you suffer from this fear? Then decide in advance that you have failed and after that go out and give the try you are capable of.
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Author: livingyourdreams [Email address: livingyourdreams #AT# dodo.com.au - replace #AT# with @ ]

Most people that meet now day would probably say that I am an extrovert. Always on show and love attention. However, would you believe that only ten years ago I would have been considered shy? I used to be really shy and it was keeping me back from doing a lot of things and meeting a lot of people.

I was afraid to talk or introduce myself to people. I was scared of what they would think of me. If the person was a female of the opposite sex then I was as good as useless. There was no way I would go up and talk to her. She may tell me to get lost or laugh at me.

It took a while to learn that my shyness wasn’t about because I am a timid person, it was because I lacked a strong believe in myself, my appearance and my own confidence. I was a strong believer in self doubt. In fact it was so strong that it crippled me in a couple of areas. The only thing that I had going for me was I knew that I had to change.
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Author: Alex Tracey

For those who do not have it, self confidence is a very elusive subject to describe. Typical self confident behaviour is seen as extroverted, outgoing, sociable and optimistic. However, even those people who possess these characteristics may be a lot less confident than their appearance supposes. You may be surprised to know that many successful people, even celebrities, visit life coaches and hypnotherapy professionals to help them with confidence issues.

These people may exhibit many of the behaviours we associate with self confidence, but really are putting on an act. Surely though if they sound confident, act confident, and they are perceived as confident, then they must be confident? Well, clearly this is not the case, yet superficial self confidence is a state of being that many aspire to. In order to understand confidence fully, we need to dig a little deeper, look at the real meaning behind true self confidence and then attain it.
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Author: Zoltan

Creating self respect is an effort that is ongoing and pays dividends that grow continuously. When you have proper respect for yourself as a person, building your self-esteem and reaching your goals and being happier is much easier. The realistic evaluation of who you are and what your abilities are is the first step.

Evaluate Yourself

List all your positive characteristics and how they can be further developed. Have friends, family or co-workers who are respectful of you give you input as well. They will see things that you may miss or take for granted. List the things that you need to work on as well. This gives you perspective and balance and helps you to continuously improve. Asking people for input who are not negative and critical is key. You want honest evaluation; this helps you look at yourself more honestly as well.

‘You First’ is Not Selfish

When you are developing your sense of self worth, you must take care of yourself first. This is not selfish. In order to fulfill the needs of others in your life you must first focus on meeting your needs in order to have the proper strength to fulfill those of others. Just as they tell you on an airplane, breathe oxygen for yourself first and then help others. When you are on the road to true self respect and valuing yourself you must make self-care a priority.
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Author: Alys

What do you think is the best relationship advice for men is? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?

You have to stop listening to what women say they want and start watching for what women actually display that they want. This is probably the biggest piece of relationship advice for men.

How do they exhibit what they want? It is as simple as watching what kind of men they choose.

You hear woman say “I want a man who listens to me.” They go for the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.

It is hard to understand why women say they want one thing and then actually date a guy who is just the opposite. The answer to that query lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.
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