James Smith’s Info Serv

Author: Kenton Bruice M.D.

There are many things that can bring a mature person down, and one of the most important ones is the Empty Nest Syndrome. You may find yourself crying for no reason; days seem endless and empty; you may feel useless, and forget about friends and the things you love to do… in a few words, life has stopped. This is how this syndrome may manifest itself in your life right after your children leave home, and they don’t need you on a daily basis anymore.

The Empty Nest Syndrome is especially strong in the case of parents who have a very strong bond with their children and have sacrificed their personal lives for a long time to take care of them. The parents’ lives normally revolve around the children and their activities, making it a shock when they leave home to start their own lives.

Do not despair! There are ways to avoid falling into the dark void this syndrome presents, and live your own life fully and happily, sharing it with your grown up children instead of subordinating yourself to them.
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Author: Andrea Feinberg, MBA, CPBA, CSBL Coach

Tired of being told you need to achieve ‘work/life balance’? Recently, I’ve heard that the concept is out of date and, in fact, concern over this prevents us from attending to what’s on our plate right now. Perhaps we can rest easier with the elusive ‘work/life balance’ if we define it differently: rather than seek equal parts work and personal development, it may be simpler to find balance between the ways in which we can view our own life.

How does the concept of balance change if we consider looking at our life from the many different perspectives available? For example, there’s a balance to be found between a willingness to hold up a mirror to ’see’ our self with our own eyes compared to the diverse perspectives of others who know us. And then, through exposure to others who let us into their lives, we gain a storehouse of balance - how individuals in circumstance similar to our own are able to find their own path, different from ours and in response to their unique combination of values, needs and priorities. This helps teach us to balance our values with our actions.

Seeing the possibilities from others’ points of view adds to our ability to make informed choices while getting a full, 360 degree view of the situation - another kind of balance that enhances satisfaction and learning. Try this example: imagine you’re standing atop a mountain - looking in the distance, we’re afforded a view of magnificent beauty yet have no way to explore it close up. Now, imagine you can just turn around to face another direction and you find a well-constructed stairway down, guiding you easily with hand rails and stopping points to enjoy views along the pathway you would have never enjoyed by gazing only at the distant vista. By shifting perspective, you’ve found not only a solution to the dilemma of wanting to get closer, you’ve found additional views you may wish to visit, ultimately adding to a far richer experience than that enjoyed atop the cliff.
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Author: Karen Schachter, LICSW, CHC

Copyright (c) 2009 Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds

We moms have a tough path to walk as we help our daughters navigate the sometimes choppy waters of growing up girl. It’s our job to protect our children and do our best to keep them safe and healthy, yet we also have to allow them to grow, stretch and learn from their own mistakes. It’s a fine line between letting them be who they are and wanting to “tweak” them just a little bit so they don’t suffer from the same mistakes or struggles that we did.

When it comes to healthy eating and a positive body image, this fine line can feel fragile and confusing, particularly if you struggle with these issues yourself.

When I teach workshops or work individually with moms, I am always asked some of the same questions: Should I let my kids have desert every day? How do I deal with their love of sweets? How can I help her stop eating when she’s not hungry anymore? How can I help her lose weight without making her feel bad about her body? How can I help her feel good about her body, no matter what its size? How can I help her feel good about herself and treat herself with respect?
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Author: Laura Doerflinger, MS, LMHC

What are good rules and rewards for teenagers? Why do we bother putting rules into place? Limits and guidelines during adolescence are an important part of getting the budding adult ready to leave home. During this preparation time, keeping focused on the end result (a successful adult) is important. When presenting and negotiating rules with your adolescent, begin by exploring the potential results of successfully following guidelines.

Here’s what your list might look like:

You’ve reached maturity when…

You choose to be with family and engage politely with them during family time.

You manage your own homework and schooling.

You develop good solid friendships: e.g. consistent, caring and respectful.

You balance your needs versus your wants: e.g. schooling versus electronics.

You spend time every day engaging in housework on your own.

You take care of your own stuff such as doing your own laundry and cleaning up after yourself.

You manage your own schedule (academic, work, home, social).
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That is the question in the hearts, minds, souls and ovaries of millions of women today, myself included. It seems there are as many reasons for waiting to have a family, as there are reasons for wanting to have a child in the first place.

If you’re struggling with the decision of motherhood, baby you’re not alone. Many women are waiting longer to have children, if at all, and they’re having fewer of them. 45% of all babies born in Canada (2002) were delivered by mothers aged 30 to 39. Twenty years ago, that figure was 23%.

As a 39 year-old widow, it seems the mother ship is about to set sail - without me on it. With choice, however, comes responsibility. If I were to have a baby at 40, the chance of the child having Down’s Syndrome is 1 in 100. At age 38, it would have been 1 in 170. At 32, it was 1 in 660.
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