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November 13th, 2009

How to Keep and Strengthen Friendships

Author: Linda Hampton RN MSN

Many come to take friendships for granted. And that’s sad because friends define us as humans. If you don’t have friends, you would feel alone and rejected in this world. Even as we’ve found our spouse, we still look to our friends to keep us company, to share our experiences

Know This: Instant Friendships Don’t Happen

This type of relationship takes huge doses of honesty, trust, and loyalty. Establishing a friendship doesn’t happen overnight. You may have numerous acquaintances but real friends are few. Even if you’re compatible with someone, it doesn’t always lead to a friendship. Some just don’t have that deep connection you get with certain people.

An example that comes quickly to mind is the relationship between Jesus and his disciples. All twelve were his friends, but Peter, James and John were special.

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September 13th, 2009

Making Friends: What Works and What Doesn’t

Every few years, investigative reporters uncover scandals of some religious or social movement which, under the pretence of improving the world, serves only to enrich its leaders. This sort of exploitative phenomena are not new. Abundant examples of similar cases can be found in sources from previous centuries.

Why do these abusive situations repeat themselves so frequently? What allows those harmful schemes to attract thousands of victims in different countries and historical periods? The response lies before our eyes: individuals feel alone and want to belong to a closely-knit group, even if that entails paying the highest price.

Men and women wish to be part of a community. We all desire to feel needed and appreciated. In a harsh city environment, a polite sentence or gesture may constitute a shocking act of generosity. Even self-serving, abject flattery can work once in a while in situations that have become so dehumanized that people are starving to hear a few nice words.

Isolation creates psychological vulnerability, which, on many occasions, turns into long-term dependence and subservience. Sociologists have come up with sophisticated theories to explain why people fall prey to heartless manipulators, but do we need a long chain of reasoning when direct observation can provide the answer?

The fundamental cause of such pernicious relationships is a false theory of friendship. It is a fact that, from infancy to retirement, men get together, talk, and cooperate. Although we see friendships begin everyday and fail every hour, in advantageous or disruptive conditions, we seldom take the time to reflect how the process works.

When it comes to making friends, commonplace advice has become integrated in the dominant culture to such an extent that it reigns uncontested. Traditional guidelines have been recycled and rehashed without much regard to veracity or scientific proof. Here are some bromides that are often served as entrée, main course, and dessert:
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August 21st, 2009

Are Your Friends Sabotaging Your Success?

Author: aarif

Remember when your parents didn’t want you hanging out with certain people because they were a ‘bad influence?’

And then, years later, you understood that there were some things you became involved in because your friends were doing it.

Well, it’s true. . .your parents weren’t always wrong.

Today you think you work hard. You think you’re doing all the right things. And you don’t understand why you’re not more successful, living the life you’ve always dreamed of living.

One of the first things you need to do is look around. Where is your time spent? Do you hang around with people who are constantly complaining about their work, their boss, their lives and other people?

Take a minute and think about your conversations with your friends. After you talk with them do you feel positive, uplifted and motivated? Or do you feel negative, down and depressed?
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March 5th, 2009

Reap the Benefits of Volunteering

Author: Laura Roberts

Contrary to what cynics may think, there is no lack of good people around. In every community, you’re bound to find people who are willing to help, people who dedicate their time for different types of charities and causes. But why are they doing this? What benefits are they getting?

Volunteer comes from the French word volontaire, which means “free will,” hence, a volunteer does not expect payment for work or services rendered but can still enjoy personal, health and wealth benefits, including:

Learning Something New

In a national survey conducted in Canada, volunteers shared that they learned different skills like being able to understand and motivate other people better, developed better communication skills like public speaking and writing, and increased their knowledge of different issues such as politics, health and the environment.

Volunteering keeps you busy, allowing your brain to stay active because of all the new things you’re experiencing and thus, may help lower your risk of neurological diseases. A seven-year study of 1,800 older adults done by a neuropsychologist from Columbia University showed that people with more “leisure pursuits” had lower risks of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

Meeting New Friends

Volunteer work allows you to work with different people who share the same interest with you. This is a great opportunity to start friendships.
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February 6th, 2009

Qualities Of A True Friend

Author: Francis K Githinji

When we enter into friendship with someone we like, we really think highly of them and even expect a lot from them. Friends are an essential part of life and, it is all about meeting true people who can become true friends. If you wish to become somebody’s friend or wish to know about making friends, the following is a list of qualities of a true friend. The qualities may differ from person to person but, the following are very common. First, a true partner in friendship will not support you when you are wrong. They will seek ways to tell you what they think and why they think it. This is in a bid to safeguard your interests. They may not always be right but, their input if for a sincere reason are very vital. Therefore, a good friend may not always agree with all you have to say. When they notice that you are being treated unfairly, good friends will seek to defend you. They would not stand to see any harm come to you.

Qualities of a true friend will be impartiality. This will be in regard to race, religion, color, occupation ands so on. They will also not regard difference in social status. True friends will love you mutually for who you are. You will know this by their actions. Many black and white friends have come a long way by admiring the qualities in each other and doing away with social pressures. If your friend is like this, you have it made. True allies will always stick by your side no matter what the pressure in their lives is. True companions in friendship are those who are always there for you. There is no real friendship between you and people you hardly see. Friendship is something you do not just feel. You need to spend quality time with each other so as to help grow your relationship. Also on qualities, a good mate should be there for you when you need to let something out.They provide a shoulder to lean on when nobody can do that.
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